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The Paultard

June 12th 2008 04:20
Continuing on from the 'Hysterical Progressives' post I made earlier I figure it's time to talk about another one of mother earths well intentioned lunatics.

The Paultard

Basic Description

Paultards are a clusterfuck of people who would normally hate each other but have been drawn together by the love for 'Doctor Ron Paul', they all think that Ron Paul agrees with them but the truth is Ron Paul agrees only with Ron Paul, if they find comfort in his arms it's only because they have overlapping views with Ron Paulís ideologies.

Behavioural Patterns

Paultards find the need to obsessively 'dare to speak the truth' or spam the internet with youtube links to their fuehrer 'speaking the truth', they will continue to do so with never ending rage directed at but not limited to neo-cons, sheeple, liberals, blacks, whites, Asians, natives, communists and the freedom hating kitchen sink.

Paultards tend to populate Ron Paul community websites which contain many links to polls and websites that need to be visited and truthened up (i.e. slanted) for the benefit of the sheeple who are not aware of the existence of Doctor Ron Paul.

->What Truth?

The truth paultards hold dear to themselves are many and varied, some are racists, some are anti-war, some just want to smoke a joint. In any case the single greatest 'truth' paultards hold close to their hearts is that almost all Americans would vote for Doctor Ron Paul if they knew about what a great guy he was. They believe it is the 'MSM media' for keeping that from happening.


My favorite aspect of paultards is their optimism, they will always be finding new and ever creative ways to explain how Ron Paul won and how Ron Paul did good and how Ron Paul is awesome and how Ron Paul will win. Even now the primaries are over and it is amply clear Ron Paul didn't win jackshit they are finding reasons as to why and how he won. Of course the definition of 'victory' keeps getting watered down, before the primaries Ron Paul was going to be president, now apparently they knew all along that Ron Paul was only in it to 'inform' people of the truth so that 2012 will be the year of the Paultards.

->What Happened To All My College Funds?

Paultards gave generously to Ron Pauls campaign, but don't ask them what happened to their money, their violent reaction will show just how lost they are.


Yes, Paultards are typical fanboys and are just as irrational. They will bash George Bush Senior for arguing that Civil Rights on a federal level is a violation of States Rights but will go over the edge of the earth defending Ron Paul for arguing the same thing. They will fondly talk of Ron Paulís libertarian ideologies yet claim he's a doctor which makes him magically exempt from having to be pro-choice.

Ron Paul is also exempt from being held accountable to such statements as "there clearly is no right to privacy nor sodomy found anywhere in the Constitution" and adding "the State of Texas has the right to decide for itself how to regulate social matters like sex, using its own local standards" via.

His past behaviour in congress is also not a matter of concern as according to Paultards, his 'We the People Act' legislation which sought to make Churches and other religious organizations immune to the constitution and therefore the Supreme Court is also of no concern to anyone who loves liberty. If you do believe they are important things to look into then you are no more than a sheeple. Sorry, it's just how it is.

Why They Are The Way They Are

Paultards found their existence after a small libertarian grassroots movement realized Digg is the key to the internet, get something on the frontpage of Digg and it will spread like wildfire. So what they did was simple, spam digg to hell and back with Ron Paul stories, digging each others stories, creating dupe accounts and just generelly causing chaos to get the truth on the frontpage. It happened once, it happened again, soon people on digg, being the type who love to follow silly internet trends, started gobbling it up.

The Paultard was born.

Unlike the idiot supporters of other politicians such as John McCain or Barack Obama paultards are less inclined to keep their annoying dribble to themselves and instead use the internet almost exclusively to 'speak the truth'. This has a lot to do with how they came into existence, through spamming websites and this is the only way they can continue to exist. If the internet was turned off tomorrow paultards would cease to exist, they would have no medium in which to exist.

To Conclude

Paultards are just as batshit insane as any other obsessive fanboy though they differ in that they will always spam the internet and think that's progress, change and all that.

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2 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by RubySoho

June 12th 2008 04:44
Ahmed, I am by no means a PC freak but I think your choice of photograph with the headline "paulttard" is on the wrong side of the fine line between humour and offense.

That said, I like this line "They believe it is the 'MSM media' for keeping that from happening.

Neo-cons blame the MSM for everything. As do many liberals, as do libertarians as do followers of Ron Paul.

Just who then, is the MSM catering to?

Comment by Ahmed

June 12th 2008 04:55
Haha, the media just wants to make profits, whoever it panders to is largely based on that principle.

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